Maybe I'm Artificially Thin?

I came across this article on Digg titled, 50 Habits of "Naturally Thin" People. Why is "Naturally Thin" in ""? I think they're trying to convey that the "naturally thin" people aren't really "naturally thin" but rather, they are thin because they follow these 50 habits.

Um... I consider myself naturally thin and yeah... no. No, no, no, no, no... Not even close. No. I do follow #24 ("Eat like a kid") and often eat kids meal for lunch. I can never finish an adult sized mall food. It's not very good so I just eat until I'm not hungry anymore- don't see the point in paying adult prize for adult portions when I only eat like half of it. If I were eating somewhere yummy however... oh it is on. Bring it!

This article claims that fat people will lose weight if they adopt some of the "tricks naturally lean people do". I know a lot of "naturally lean" people and, none of them run errands with a 5-10lb bag of sugar in their back pack (#19). Nor do we do weird stretching exercises while brushing our teeth (#4), waiting for coffee (#5), at the desk (#11), or while we file (#16). And, I could be wrong, but... we also don't clench our butt every time we brake (#8).

Oh, and the whole instead of chocolate, have a pudding pop thing(#36)... doesn't work. And seriously, who eat just the insides of an eggroll (#43)? And when I want ice cream, I eat ice cream- I don't have sex in lieu of ice cream (#50).

And how freaked out embarrassed would your kids be if you just started to run laps around the field while they're playing soccer during a match (#41)?

So... I've given this some thought and here's what the naturally thin people (that I know) have in common. Granted, it's probably skewed and biased since I mostly know people like myself. Most, if not all, of us:

1) Are young.
2) Stay consistently active- I'm not talking about exercise, I'm talking about being on our feet all day, moving stuff around, doing labor intensive household chores, etc.
3) Are in tune with our body which self-regulates wants, needs, and splurges. Sometimes, we feel like a cheeseburger with cheese fries (sprinkled with bacon!) and that's what we eat. Sometimes we feel like a whole wheat sandwich with turkey breasts and that's what we eat. Sometimes we feel like eating an entire carton of ice cream, and we do. Sometimes a scoop will do. And sometimes, we don't want ice cream at all. We definitely don't have to "make whoopee" to take our minds off the siren song of Chunky Monkey.
4) Drink coffee and or energy drinks
5) Eat/snack when we're hungry and stop when we're not.
6) Are not really into pastries, chocolates, candies, chips, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am all about apple pie, brownies, and Ferraro Roches. However, it's not a everyday thing and most of the time, I'd rather do without. We go through phases. OMG chocolate chips are the best thing ever! I'm going to eat 5 every day!!!! Maybe more!!!! That lasts for a few days and all of sudden- not really feeling cookies for about a year.
7) Don't really think about food other than "Hmm... I'm hungry, what should I eat." and "Oh, that looks/sounds really good!"- this does not mean that we want to eat it mind you.
8) Have thin/thin-ish/used to be thin parents and grandparents.
9) Cares about our appearance. Maybe not enough to wear make up everyday, or get regular hair cuts, or not wear things that makes our stomach look poochy, but, when we look ugly, we know we look ugly and this makes us kind of sad.
10) We like food and, most of the time, we like to eat. However, food is just food. It fills us up and most of the time, it tastes good so it's enjoyable. It does not bring us comfort. It does not make us feel anything other than full.

10 seems like a good place to stop. And, I'm not implying that fat people are not/don't do any of the above... it's just some of the things that I've noticed us "naturally lean" people have in common (the ones I know at least).

So yeah, stupid article. I'm wondering- is the author naturally thin or "naturally thin". Is she actually doing all this crap to stay thin? Did she interview thin people for their supposed habits? Was she just stuck in traffic and thought, "Hey, if I clench my butt, I can have a firm ass without going to the gym! Oooh! And if, at work, I just tap my feet a lot while I'm on the phone, I can burn calories... with out going to the gym!!! Oh! And I'll start a habit where, while watching TV, every time a fast food commercial comes on, I'll run a lap around the living room!" Brilliant!

Can Someone Make This Happen, Please?

Yesterday, at work, I got a bit dusty trying to install a new monitor. As I was on my knees fidgeting with a bunch of wires, I thought:

Why don't they color code the cables?

Seriously, why don't they? I mean, they color code the tips of the cable so that it's very clear where you're suppose to stick it in the back of the CPU, right? Oh, this cable has a green head so I'll stick it into the green slot. And, in case color matching is too advanced, they even have little pictures next to the slot. Oh, this is a mouse cable with a blue head, I guess I'm suppose to stick it into the blue slot with the little picture of a mouse underneath it.

Brilliant!

Now, why don't they just make the entire cable blue? Our computer set up has massive amounts of wires running everywhere. There's the wire for the monitor, the mouse, the keyboard, the printer, the ethernet, etc. And jumbled with all those wires there's the wire for the phone, the back up generator, the power strip thing, the back up hard drive and modem and blah blah blah blah blah... nothing but a tangled mess of black and grey wires and cables everywhere all tangled up. So I disconnect the cable from back of the monitor and yank on it... which works to free it until it gets tangled in other wires and I'll all "CRAP!" 'cause now I have to figure out which one is the one I need when they all look the same. A lot of tug and detect action that could be solved if the wires were color coded.

Finally!

I finally found someone with the same birthday as me!

Working retail, I see a lot of IDs and, in all my 6-ish years, I've never seen someone with the same birthday as me. I'm not even talking about the same year, just the same month and day. I've seen those with holidays (Christmas, St. Pat's V-day, etc) and my friend's b-day, but never July 22.

Until today!

I was all "OMG! You're the first person I've met that has the same birthday as me!"
And she's all, "OMG! We have the same birthday? I've been a bartender for years now so I check a lot of IDs and I've never met anyone with the same birthday as me!"

So that's one of life's to-do list that I can cross off!

Cool Blog

Check out Freelancer's Fashion if you've ever wondered what pyschobilly style is like- and even if you haven't. Her outfits are super cute and it's worth checking out her site to see her hair- looks straight out of an Archie comic book. I wish I had cool hair.

She even has (had?) a cool apartment. Looks so Ikea-ish. How far is Finland from Sweden? Not that far, right? I've always thought parquet floors were really cool.

XXX Vegan Lifestyle is HELL on Looks!

Okay, so confession time...
I am totally in love with Crazy Angel by Kill Hannah.
Dude, seriously, click on the link, go to their myspace site, and check out the song... amazing!!!!... if you like synth heavy, pop rock full of really bad cheesy lyrics (which I totally do). It's like Tokio Hotel only... umm... synthier.

Even though they have Billy Corgan's stamp of approval (why, is beyond me), Kill Hannah is one of those bands that I'm a bit ashamed to admit I like- Not that I do, like them that is. I like that one song, I swear!- mainly because they look like this:

Now, don't get me wrong, on the right dude, the goth/emo/scene look totally works, and these guys pull it off very well. And I'm not even saying that I dislike the look... just that it's pretty evident they put more thought into their outfits and makeup than their music. I like Crazy Angel, I really do- but the lyrics to all their songs sounds like they came up with it in 10 minutes. Which is kind of fine with me 'cause the overly dramatic cheese-tastic-ness of the song is part of what I like about the song.

What makes their look disturbing is the fact that they are old. I mean, not like collecting social security old, but the lead singer (the dude to the far left in the above pic) is 34 years old! I'm sorry, but if you're out of your teens, you have no business wearing fingerless gloves and painting random lines on your face (an homage to Left Eye perhaps?).

Rober Smith can pull of Robert Smith when he's all old, fat, and Jokerish looking 'cause he's Robert Smith. 34 year old front man of a kinda sorta not really but maybe famous bands should not attempt.

I'm not going to lie though, I think their front man, Mat Devine, is cute. I geeked when I saw a pic of him 'cause OMG he looks Kevin Rose!!! Seriously, it's uncanny.

Mat Devine- wishes he was listening to Joy Division right now.

Kevin Rose- Not a good pic, but you get the idea.

Okay, why hasn't anyone noticed this before? Do 12 year old girls not Digg? Is it like a Hanna Montana/Miley kind of deal? Are they related? I mean, "Mat Devine" can't be his real name. Oh man, if they were, Mat would be the older brother... so weird. Oh! He's like older than Davey. Weird.

See kids, the vegan straightedge lifestyle ages you! Nothing like steady diet of beef and cigarettes to keep a person looking young and scene.

What was I talking about originally?
Oh yes, go to myspace and check out Crazy Angel.
And don't try to pull off the crazy goth emo look if you're old.
Unless you're Davey Havok.

Stop Frauding Me!

Funny, funny, funny!
This article is so funny!
I don't think he understands what "fraud" means.

Pique in Antique

So driving home from Richmond yesterday I passed by the Virginia Bazaar, and, on a whim, decided to stop by.

The VA Bazaar turned out to be a flea market held in a huge barn like structure. Apparently, it is open every Saturday and Sunday fro 9-5. I kind of got excited when the sign said it was a flea market. I've always heard cool things about flea markets but this one wasn't that cool.

Don't get me wrong, it was cool in the truck stop gift shop kind of way, but not cool in the hipster, cool vintage clothes and accessories kind of way. The whole place was very kitschy, which was awesome! If I was ever serious about trying to wear wolf shirts, I would have had a field day there. I can't wait until I get my own place so I can buy Elvis bears, velvet mountain paintings, Jesus lamps, and other cool things to decorate my place.

So, inspired by the $4 Bruno Maglis, I'm on a thrift/vintage kick right now. Unfortunately, Eastern Loundoun county is a wasteland of cool thrift. The whole place pretty much sprang up in the 90's and everyone around here are middle class mall shoppers.

Now, Western Loudoun county on the other hand... we're talking antebellum houses, old money, horse farms, plantations... I mean, you need an estate to have an estate sale, right? So, on my days off, I want to check out the antique stores and hope that I find something cool.

OMG So CUTE!!!

I'm not even going to tell you what it is. I don't want to ruin it for you. Just click on the link below and I swear your insides will turn into cotton candy!!!

Awesome Cuteness!!!

Foxboro Hot Tubs

I grew up watching a lot of Disney Channel and Nick at Night. We're talking a lot of classic Disney, Get Smart, Dragnet (Blue Boy!), Marilyn Monroe movies, Gene Kelly, The Monkees, etc. The late 50's, 60s, and early 70s also had some great literature- Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary, Paddington Bear, Roald Dahl- Probably the best era in terms of children's literature. Even though I grew up in the 80's, when I think back to what I read and watched, it's mostly 60's stuff. Then, I skipped to the 90's. I think I missed the '80s for the most part.

Culture wise, I like the late 50's, 60's, and early 70's- which is why I'm totally stoked over the new Foxboro Hot Tubs' album, Stop, Drop, and Roll.

Foxboro Hot Tubs is Green Day's new side project. Even though it's Green Day and it was written and recorded in 2008, it sounds a lot like the Monkees... You know, if The Monkees used bad words, was more talented, and sounded like Green Day. It's a little kitchy and the whole time, I keep expecting them to break into American Idiot (the song) all of sudden. They don't. It's not a masterful piece of geniosity or anything but it's a fun, well made album that's a nice break from the barrage of emo, nu-emo, screamo, hardcore, thrash-death-black metal that's out there.

Good times, good times. It makes me want to put on some high waisted, pastel colored polyester pants and a cream colored turtle neck and eat fondue while watching Pillow Talk.

My only complaint is that the production value is LAME for a CD that costs $11.99 (a bit pricey for a CD now days- esp. for a "new" band). It just comes in a cardboard sleeve. Eric pointed out that it's suppose to mimic vinyl (to add to the kitch factor) and yeah, yeah, yeah... I get it. The CD itself is printed to look like vinyl and comes tucked inside a white paper sleeve like most vinyls. Still, lame and cheap! It looks like a sample CD or an EP that you get for free. Glassjaw went with the same concept and they came up with this:

The CD is printed to look like vinyl and, the turn table is the CD art, and the top of the case is clear with the needle drawn onto it. Daryl is so awesome!

Oh, and speaking of the 60's in 2008- I'm a bit upset that they made Get Smart into a summer blockbuster movie. I like Steve Carrell and the Princess Diary girl but still... they're ruin it, I know they will.

Baby Steps!

Okay, so I've been thinking about investing for awhile now and I know I want to invest, I really do. It's a matter of actually doing it.

So, I've taken a step towards investment...
I created an "Invest" folder in my bookmark and I'm going to put all posts and articles related to investments so that when I am really ready and committed (soon, I swear, I swear, soon) I will have all my resources there to do some research.

It's all about baby steps.

Speaking of investing, Kevin from No Debt Plan responded to this post with some helpful advice! Small act of kindness from awesome strangers makes my day. It reminds me that I need to pass the good will and do something nice to a stranger to keep it going. Does that sound lame and Oprah-ish? Yeah, I guess... true none the less.

I'm kind of debating getting a Roth. I already have a 401(k) where 10% of my pre-tax income goes into. However, everything I read tells me that's not enough so I definitely need to bump up my retirement savings. Not only that, apparently, 401(k)s and Traditional IRA (I also have one of those where I rolled over my previous employer's 401(k)) are lame and all the cool kids have Roths. On the other hand, I would like to save up for a house. I know that I can take money out of a Roth but... I just think, at this stage in my life, an investment that will help me put down a decent down payment in the near future is more sensible then another retirement account.

Of course, I think this until I read an article predicting that I'll be eating cat food and cutting my meds in half when I'm 70. So conflicted I am!

Susan is my main motivator for retirement saving. Susan was a co-worker at JCP. At that time, she was probably 10 years from retiring, in poor health (diabetes, bad teeth, life time of smoking, over weight. poor diet), living paycheck to paycheck, no house and an old, dying car. Oh, and of course, no retirement savings to speak of. I'm not judging, she led a really hard life with a lot of road blocks and she did the best she could with what she knew. She made the best of her situation. She once told me that in one of her previous jobs, her employer had her enrolled her in a 401(k). When she quit, her 401(k) was cashed out ($2,000) and she used it to pay her bills and have some fun. I didn't say anything but I was mortified. If anyone should be saving up for retirement, she should. Then again, what's $2,000 when you're so close to retirement and you have nothing? She was a really cool person and sometimes I worry about her. She should be nearing retirement soon and with her poor health, she's not going to be able to work full time for much longer.

Who knows... I might hit a major bump. That's why I need to save now!

Oh, and Brian, he's also my motivator. Brian was my old boss (again, at JCP). He once told me that he's been contributing 10% to his 401(k) since he was 21. Now, if Brian can get his act together and save up properly for his retirement, I sure as hell should be able to.

Going back to my (future) investment... I'm definitely not getting a CD or anything that needs to mature. I like my assets to be as liquid as possible. Don't ask me why- I don't foresee a situation in the near future where I would need to grab my money and go but... you never know.

My Umbrella

It's been raining a lot here in NoVa, which, if you ask me, is super uber fantastic! I love rain because:
1) The sound is soothing and awesome
2) It makes me think the air is being cleaned somehow
3) It lowers the temperature and humidity

It doesn't rain much here so I usually don't have a use for an umbrella. I have one, I just don't know where it is, and even if I did, I wouldn't use it. I don't mind getting wet while walking to my car to what ever building. I'm not a runner either. You can't out run the rain so I don't see any point in looking silly by running.

So, instead of an umbrella, I use a hat:

Excuse the hair, I had just taken a shower. It doesn't look so witchy most of the time.

The hat is from Banana Republic and I bought it like 4 years ago. As you can see, it's wide enough to act as an umbrella during light showers, which is what we mostly get around here.

I also love this hat because it's one of the few things I own that everyone, even dudes, compliment me on.

I'm Moving! Wait, No, No I'm Not!!

Screw Maricopa Arizona with their ridiculously high housing prices! Why pay six figures for a house when I can move to Detroit and buy a house for less than $30,000!!! Sweet!

Ah, Detroit! The birth place of Eminem and The Insane Clown Posses!

The Insane Clown Posses... I think I'm going to go throw up now.



Auuugghhhh!!!!

I think all the Juggolos and Jugglettes needs to move to Detroit and just stay there. Most of them would love Detroit, it seems like their place. They can make it a great ICP nation and just keep it all contained in that city. Lord knows everyone else thinks its pathetically gross.

Girl's Gotta Eat!

It's hard for me to save for retirement. I get 10% of my paycheck put into a 401(k) and that's about the extent of it. I know that's not going to be enough and I need to contribute to a Roth and invest money in mutual funds or CDs or Bonds or whatever. I know should do more but it's hard for me to save money for retirement 'cause that seems so far away and I have more immediate wants (like a house).

Then I came across this blog on Master Your Card that really drove home the point that I'm going to need to step it up. According to Master Your Card, it will cost me $350,000 to eat during my retirement. Actually, that's $350K for 2 people at $8 a meal for 3 meals a day. So, for me, that will be what... $175K. Still a whole crap load of money.

Not only that, I should save at least $220,000 for doctor bills.

Crap!

Ummm... hmmm...

Maybe I'll just pick up a drug habit. It'll help with my retirement anxiety and I will die sooner. What kills faster, crack or heroine? Meth? Well- Meth turns you ugly so no meth. There's this girl I went to HS with that I see in my store every once in awhile. I'm not a drug expert but I swear she's a meth head. She has meth sore-ish things all over her face and really jacked up looking teeth. She was never pretty to begin but... blegh! Heroine involves needles, doesn't it? Yeah, no needles.

On second though, drugs are kind of expensive. Maybe an all pork diet?

Oh, and during lunch, I went to Chic Fil A and everything now costs a dollar more. Poo!

What Would Buffet Do?

So according to CNN, I need 7 investments. According to the blog No Debt Plan, that's a bunch of hooey. His main argument is that Americans suck at saving and in order to own all 7 recommended investments, they will need at least $24,500. Then he starts talking about retirement and I'm all, huh?

Oh yikes. This investment thing is kind of tricky. I've yet to read my book and hopefully that will clear some things up. I'm just going to pick a fund, dump $3K into it, and see how it feels. Hopefully, I will like the feeling and dump another $3K into another fund.... and so on and so forth.

If

Shortly after Mindless Self Indulgence released their latest album, If, Eric told me that he would punch me in the face if I didn't buy it 'cause it's fucking amazing. Pretty strong recommendation coming from a dude who, a year ago, went off on a violent tangent about how MSI are the worst band ever.

I was kind of on the fence about picking up the new CD. I used to like MSI but got over them very quickly. It used to be a lot of grindy electronic and industrial beat with bursts of erratic high pitched yelling. Plus, I'm all for angry music but their lyrics often sounded like they were trying to be vulgar for the sake of being vulgar- a bit over the top and too whiny. I got into the few songs where they actually sing, my fave being Shut Me Up- Ulrich Wild (Groandome Metal Remix). Eric assured me the new album is more mainstream and I listened to it at work and thought- eh, why not.

Besides, Jhonen Vasquez, the creator of Invader Zim, drew all the art work for the deluxe edition. Hell, I'd buy an Avenged Sevenfold album if Jhonen had any part in it. Mmm... scratch that, no, no I wouldn't. Needless to say, I forked over the extra $5 for the deluxe edition. The deluxe edition comes in a fully illustrated tri-fold cardboard sleeve. It also comes with a fully illustrated liner note with complete lyrics. Oh, it also comes with a DVD that I don't really care about. I'm glad I bought it when I did instead of hesitating for too long- we sold out w/in 2 weeks.

I also bought the shirt since there was a bundle sale going with the purchase of the CD. Augh, I hate buying guy's shirts 'cause even the youth sizes are too boxy but, again, Jhonen Vasquez designed it and the above bee squid design is pretty bad ass.

After listening to it a lot, I have to say, the album is pretty fantastic. It's a lot of grindy industrial dance beats and I'm in an electronica/industrial/techno kick right now so it struck the right nerve. A few of the die hard MSI fans have complained that it's too dancy but I think they managed to make their sound more attractive a wider audience while still maintaining their sound. My favorite track is Mastermind, even though it there're parts that are reminiscent of Eminem. Ewe.

Charity Case

I haven't highlighted any charities in awhile so here's who I'm sending some money to this month.

Food for the Poor
It has a Charity Navigator rating of 62.11 (4/4 stars) which is pretty impressive. I know it's a good, legit charity because they don't send me any address labels or bogus certificates or anything like that. Just a heartfelt letter with poor, hungry looking kids. According to Charity Navigator, here's what they do:

Food For The Poor raises funds and provides direct relief assistance to the poor, usually by purchasing specifically requested materials and distributing them through the churches and charity organizations already operating in areas of need.

I hope you feed a lot of poor Latin kids with my money Food for the Poor!

Christian Appalachian Project
CAP has a Charity Navigator rating of 61.25 (4/4 stars). Again, another one of the charities that choses to spend their money on fixing old peoples homes instead of sending me key chains and necklaces. Well, good for you CAP! They sent me this booklet thing with pictures of dilapidated houses they helped fixed... A couple years back, driving back from Wisconsin, we ended up cutting through West VA via the Appalachian mountain. We saw lots of little houses like the one in the booklet built right at the edge of the mountain. Man, if I'm old, like 60 years old, and my house on the mountain was falling apart and winter was coming... that would suck. Here's what the Charity Navigator said:

Founded in 1964, the Christian Appalachian Project (CAP) is an interdenominational, Christian organization committed to serving people in need in Appalachia by providing physical, spiritual and emotional support through a wide variety of programs and services.

I hope you use my money to fix a lot of old folk's homes CAP!

My last check goes to...
It came down between United Spinal Association and St. Joseph's Indian School.
The United Spinal Association was my first charity and they send me the nicest stuff. However, they have a Charity Navigator Rating of 21.35 (0/4 stars) and The Washington Post rated it an F and said it was one of the worst Veteran charities. Bummer.
St. Joseph's Indian School also sends me pretty cool stuff- which leads me to think they're not the best at allocating their money. However, they don't have a Charity Navigator rating since they're a religious organization. Maybe they are extremely honest and efficient or maybe they suck! How do I know?

In the end, I decided to go with St. Joseph's Indian School, something about them just strikes me as being real and genuine. At least they don't send me letters with obviously photoshopped images, yeah, I'm looking at you United Spinal Association!

I'm Moving!!!

Apparently, in Maricopa AZ, (suburb of Phoenix) you can get pretty nice houses for $105-145 thousand dollars! For that amount of money, around here, you can maybe find a trailer in a nice trailer park about 30 miles out from the nearest suburb.

I can afford a house in Maricopa. I heard AZ is a pretty cool state. Get's crazy hot, I'm sure, but everyone tells me it's "dry heat". Having lived in VA for the most of my life, I don't really understand "dry heat". People from west talk about it like their heat is so much better than our heat. "It's like an oven where it's hot but its bearable, you know?" Um... no. I don't know about y'all's oven, but mine gets pretty fucking hot and I would not want to live inside one.

Judging by the video, the only downside to Maricopa would be the fact that it's all houses. We have lots of developments like that around me. Areas the size of small cities that are nothing but miles and miles and miles and miles of new, pretty, houses built practically on top of each other. I would hate to live in those areas. The nearest gas station is like 10 minutes away, the nearest grocery store like 15-20! I mean, if I was going to live that far from shopping and be denied pizza delivery, it's going to be because I live in a more rural area with land and trees and neighbors who can't see me- not to live in a hastily constructed house built three feet away from its clone.

Not that I have anything against hastily constructed houses built three feet away from its clone. I really don't care about yard space. I would just like to live walking distance to a grocery store... even if I have every intention to drive... and I would still be going to Trader Joe regardless...

Purchase of the Month!

And April's Purchase of the Month goes to...

... drum rolls please...

Wegmans Black Truffle Extra Virgin Olive Oil!!!

Here's a little cooking tip for anyone who is interested:
If the food is white (in color) drizzle a little truffle oil to make it taste 10x better! Mash potatoes! Eggs! Alfredo sauce! Vanilla Ice Cream! Okay, I've never had it with vanilla ice cream but it wouldn't surprise me if it did taste good. It adds a very complex taste to the most mundane dish.

It is a little pricey- I can't remember if it's $7.99 a bottle or $13.99- either way, considering it's only 3.52 oz, it's a bit pricey. However, the stuff is kind of potent and you really don't need a lot to make the dish really stand out.

My favorite uses?
Egg sandwhich (sunny side up egg on toasted bread drizzled with truffle oil and covered in grated parm cheese)
on Trader Joe's fried rice
on Cheese Thing- OMG!!!! So freaking awesomely good!
grilled cheese sandwich- Jamie said that someone on Gossip Girl was eating a grilled cheese sandwich cooked in truffle oil. Sounds fantastic but it'll require 1/4-1/2 the bottle to grill a sandwich. Instead I just drizzle some on top of the cheese before grilling it.

Oh, speaking of grilled cheese sandwiches... the best way to make them is using 2 cast irons and using coarsely grated cheddar. Mmm... I wish I had some bread right now.

I Now F-ing Hate Lotus!!!

I'm not well right now. I've been researching trypophobia and um... yeah, I'm not well right now.

Here's how it all started...

Yesterday, I was on Digg and somehow I ended up at Snopes.com. While there, I decided to check out their "Fauxtography" section. There, I saw many gross, real, pictures- like decapitation, disembowelments, blown off heads, etc. Those did not phase me. The "lotus tit" picture... Oh. My. Goodness. It was that like deer caught in a headlight, jaw dropping moment where I'm so in shock I can't take my eyes away while that image is being seared into my brain. Then my stomach kicks in and the whole body feels weak and I'm thinking, "Oh fuck, I should not have seen this..." and now I can't get that image out of my head and it just makes me feel very ill.

See... I've always been grossed out by holes and air bubbles. Like, those DIY tint job on cars- yeah, I can't drive behind those, I just can't. I first realized it when I was little, like five, eating tofu. I remember staring at the cross section of the tofu and it was the same as last night with the "lotus tit" when I just... I just couldn't stop staring 'cause it was so horrific and... augh, horrible, very very very very very very bad!!! Sponges, um- pictures of cell structures, pumice, certain pastries... oh goodness, I feel so disturbed right now.

So this is something that has always bothered me and last night, I figured there's got to be a name for it. I did some research tonight and found out that it's called trypophobia- fear of naturally occurring holes, usually asymmetrical.

So, in doing this research, I came across many disturbing pics (and many grosser variation of "lotus tit"). I was kind of hoping to stare at pics of lotus seeds and desensitize myself but now I just kind of feel really gross.

In defense of myself and my phobia- I think this is one of the more rational phobias (as suppose to the fear of 13 or clowns or whatever). I mean, think about it... holes are really really gross. Like, really gross. Like really fucking oh my goodness gross. It just denotes like rotting, bugs, worms, larvae, um- sponge. Sponge- wet, moist, squishy. Oh...augh... I need to stop.

Let's Be Honest Here...

A day or two ago, as I was getting dressed, I saw Matt Lauer do a piece on how (estimated) 1 million used cars that are sold in the US are actually totaled cars- that is, cars that has been in a major accident and damaged to a point where they needed to be destroyed. One of the lady featured in the piece was a mom who wanted a nice, safe, reliable car to tote her kids around, however, she couldn't afford new so she had to buy used. It turns out that this used car had been totaled in the past and now deemed unsafe to drive.

Oh, and of course, they had to mention that she's in the military. I'm not sure if that was to drum up extra sympathy or to illustrate just how poor she was... I hate it when they throw in that military crap when it doesn't pertain to the story at all.

So yes, she's on TV, talking about how, as a single mom in the military, working her butt off to provide for her kids, she couldn't afford a new car so she wanted to find the safest used car for her money to transport her kids. So what did she get...

A used BMW sedan!!!

Oh, here's the best part... her car payment is... are you ready for it?

$500 a month!

My car, a regular old Civic, has curtain side air bags on all sides, 4 disk breaks, some safer kind of frame work, steal bars going across the doors, blah blah blah. I don't remember the details but, seeing as how the car purchase was the result of an accident, I made sure that it had really good safety features. My car payment is no where near $500 a month!

You know, if you bought a busted up used Beemer 'cause you couldn't afford a new one, just man up to it and say, "Yes, I bought a BMW 'cause I wanted to drive a luxury car." Don't feed me this BS about how you bought it for the safety feature to keep your kids safe! If you really bought the car for the kids (and not you) than you would've bought a minivan or something- especially if you're a struggling single mom (in the military).

OMG! So Want!!!

I'm not really into sneakers but even I'm really wanting this one:

It's a Freddy Krueger theme Nikes! You can see more pics here. It's probably crazy expensive and insanely hard to get a hold of Oh well, I'll take comfort in the fact that even if my local Foot Locker had them, I really doubt they made any in a women's size 5.

Yum!

This is what heaven is made of! Oh, you thought it was made of fluffy clouds, did you? Nope. It is made of green tea whipped cream. Yup, you heard it right, green tea whipped cream!!!

It's super easy to make. You pour some heavy cream into a bowl and whip whip whip whip whip! When it starts to thicken (won't take long- I promise) pour in some macha powder and whip whip whip until it's becomes whipped cream. Now, once it starts to get all whip creamy, it's going to be tempting to whip some more (it becomes fun after awhile) but RESIST!!! Otherwise, you'll end up with a clumpy, watery mess (or, keep on whipping and end up with butter). Seriously, there's all there's to it.

Okay, seriously, go over to Starbucks right now, ask for some macha powder, stop by the grocery store, pick up some heavy cream and make yourself some green tea whipped cream. I can eat an entire bowl of this stuff (I think I will!).

You know that strawberry cupcake I made awhile back? I quadrupled the amount of strawberries and baked it into a cake. I then spread a layer of strawberry ice cream, topped it off with some green tea whipped cream and...

So so good!

I know, it looks a bit messy but I couldn't wait for the cake to cool. The softness of the cake, the cold, creaminess of the ice cream, the airiness of the whipped cream... amazing!

Screw You Old Navy!!!

I had a mildly grating experience at Old Navy the other day. No, I take that bad, it was horrendous. The experience itself wasn't bad, I just got fed up with it. So fed up, I actually emailed customer complaint when I got home. Here's what I sent:

To Whom It May Concern:

I have been shopping at Old Navy store 5530 (Dulles, Virginia) for quite some time now and, I have to say, it's a love hate relationship.

I love the clothes! They're cute, well constructed out of quality material, and reasonably priced (esp. if they're on clearance!).

I HATE your staff. I've been shopping at the Dulles store since around 2004 and it's progressed from good to atrocious. The store is ALWAYS in a complete disarray. I can never find any staff in the store. The only time I see them are in the fitting room, talking to each other. Speaking of fitting room... oh my goodness... why is there always like five racks of clothes and random stuff just thrown about everywhere? Busy weekend- I can understand, but at 3pm on a Tuesday when the store's near empty? A few years back, it seemed like you had your best, friendliest staff at the registers but now... wow! It's really like going through a self check out. The cashiers are usually talking to another associate. When they aren't, they never acknowledge me. Maybe they just assume I don't speak English? Maybe they're awkward teenagers? Maybe they're just rude? Maybe your management just really sucks at training? I'm not expecting your staff to treat me like their best friend or royalty or family- just basic respect. I don't think it's too much to expect a "Hello" and a "Have a good day" at the register.

Today, I went into store 5530 to return something. It's been awhile since I made a return and, as I recalled, if I paid with a credit card (which I did) and had the receipt (which I did) I didn't need to show my card- that they can put it back on my Visa automatically. It was my turn at the register and the cashier (cashier 1926265) just looks at me, no greeting, just looks at me (why does all your cashiers look like they would rather not be there?). So I greeted her first, "Hello! I have a return to make." She takes my stuff, and bluntly says, "I need your card." I asked, "Do you still need the card if I have my receipt?" She doesn't answer. "Because before, if I had a receipt, you didn't..." Still no answer. Really? I'm a customer with a legitimate question and I don't get an answer? She proceeds to do whatever it is that she needs to do for a return then, just stares at me. I ask her again, she makes a "OMG, didn't I just tell you that I do?!" face and says, "Um... swipe your card" pointing at the mounted card swiper. I swipe my card, she hands me a receipt and, of course, there is no "Have a nice day" apparently that's too much to ask.

Experiences like that is not unusual at that store and it never really bothered me in the past but, for some reason, this time, I left feeling really slighted somehow. Afterwards, I went to Victoria Secret and the cashier there was so nice! The VS cashier was also a teenager and she didn't really do anything spectacular, just greeted me with a "How are you doing? Did you find everything okay today?" and ended with "Have a good day." It's something so easy and little... the fact that Old Navy can't even give me that little bit of customer service really kind of pissed me off.

I put up with a lot to shop at Old Navy (messy store, screaming kids throwing balls everywhere, being ignored by the staff, etc.) and today, it dawned on me, why? Money's getting tighter so why am I spending it at a store where the cashier doesn't even appreciate me enough to say, "Hello"? In the past, I used to shrug it off 'cause it seems so little- it's not like the cashier cursed me out or anything. Today, I kind of realized that it pisses me off because it's so little and basic. If a store can't even give me that much- I'm done.

I don't know if a real person even read these emails. If you are a real person, I hope you can get it fixed because I really do love Old Navy merchandise and I would like to continue shopping there, but, if your staff continues to treat me like I'm not even there, then I won't be there.

Actually, I misspoke, it's not like going through a self checkout. The self checkout machine at our local Giant always greets me and wishes me a nice day. So, here's what the CR-Bot wrote back:

Dear oldnavy.com Customer,

Thank you for your e-mail regarding your recent store visit in Dulles,
Virginia.  We are sorry to hear of your disappointing Old Navy shopping
experience.  We try very hard to hire and train friendly, courteous, and
helpful employees so your shopping experience is fun and easy, and we
hope that every visit to our stores is characterized by professional and
efficient service.  We would like to speak with you further regarding
this matter.  Please contact our Customer Relations department at
1-800-OLD-NAVY, option 4, option 1 and then option 2.  Our hours are
Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., Saturday, 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.,
and Sunday, 12 p.m. to 6 p.m. ET.

Sincerely,

Claud
Customer Service Consultant

Dude, I was pissed!!! Okay, first off, total BS. I used to work there, they do not "try very hard to hire and train friendly, courteous, and helpful employees..." Really, they don't! Their criteria is a sick mixture of racism, sexism, and complete ignorance to modern culture. They would hire complete idiots and expect me to train them into retail super stars. Except, of course, they take all my training hours and uses it up for their pet projects. The rare smart people they hire are treated like crap since they're smart enough to recognize shady behavior when they see it. In turn, they are practically forced out- they love drama but not when it turns on them. Man I hope they rot in retail hell! Oh wait, Wayne works at Sears now!!! Karma's a bitch, ain't it Wayne? Ha!

Secondly, so... let me get this straight... one of your stores pisses me off to a point where I felt the need to write an angry letter (and trust me, I'm not one of those customers- it takes a lot for me compose a whiny email), and I get a stock email telling me call some 1 800 and go over all this again?!?! Screw you "Claud" and your lame company! So I responded with a snarky email:

Thank you for the stock response to a real complaint!
If you had just wanted me to call in the complain in the first place, maybe you should have just listed the phone number and not offer the option of sending an email. I mean, first I cared enough to type out a long email and now you want me to waste more time calling you guys and explaining it all over again? Then again, why am I still surprised by lack of consideration from your company when most of the Old Navy employees I've dealt with have been inconsiderate?

They responded with this email:

Dear Old Navy Customer,

Thank you for your email and for taking the time to share the recent
shopping experience you had while visiting our Dulles. Old Navy store.
At Old Navy, we strive to supply a great shopping experience for all
customers, and we truly regret disappointing you.  Please be assured
that we have documented your feedback concerning the service you
received while visiting our Dulles, Old Navy store and, in turn,
forwarded your concerns to the appropriate management and training
personnel within our company.  They will investigate your concerns in an
effort to improve the shopping experience for all Old Navy customers.

For your time and feedback, we would like to offer you an Old Navy
Appreciation Card.  Your card will be in the amount of $10 and will be
valid at any Old Navy store.  Please reply to this email with your
preferred mailing address; upon receipt of your reply we will ensure the
card is promptly sent via postal mail.

Thank you again for bringing this matter to our attention.  We hope to
hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Kellie
Old Navy Customer Relations

$10? That's it? I've had customers bring in anywhere from $5 to $25 Customer Appreciation Cards. So... is it based on the severity of the complaint?

You know, believe it or not I am so pissed at them, I am thisclose to telling them to shove the appreciation card up their ass. Argh!!! I don't know that I will really boycott ON, but it's definitely going to be awhile until I go in there again.

More Rudeness

So today a customer told me that I was too smart to work retail and that my parents must be so disappointed that I'm not making the most of my smartitude... I assured him that my parents are happy that I'm fortunate enough to have a job that I love. He said that the only reason I enjoy my job is because it's easy and that I would be happier if I made something of myself and got a job that pays real money. He's all, "You can do it! You seem smart! Don't you want a nice car! A nice house!"

I love my job. Even when I worked at ON and even when it was hell, I never dreaded going into work. To me, that's worth more than a nice car or a McMansion. Besides, I think my car is pretty nice and even if I were rich, I still wouldn't want a McMansion. Don't get me wrong, I wish I made more money- but who doesn't?

Unfortunately, far too many people feel way too comfortable making these kind of comments to me- probably because, in their sick head, they think they're paying me a compliment, "Oh, you're too good for this", "You seem like a bright girl! What are you doing working retail?" or my personal favorite (and keep in mind, he was genuinely confused), "Oh!... but... you're smart!"

I'm not even going to go into the complexity and stress of my job... most people think that every retail workers just man the registers and nothing else. They don't know about all the planning, execution, coaching, networking, training, analyzing, number crunching, forecasting, etc. All they see are the register monkeys so everyone must be register monkeys, nothing else.

I live in Northern VA where "What do you do?" is one of the first question that gets asked when you meet someone. When people asked me what I did or where I worked, I used to mention my position along with the company but that didn't stop the comments. Apparently, it doesn't matter if you're a cashier or a store manager, to them retail = underpaid cashier w/ a GED. Now, I just say, "I work retail" or "I work at the mall". If they want to think I make minimum wage, go ahead! I don't care anymore! They're never going to change their mind and I shouldn't have to justify my life choice to an idiot.

Guilty Pleasure

Tokio Hotel came out this week!!!

Okay, I'm not really a fan. No really, I'm not... okay, maybe... no, no, no, no... I'm not a fan.

Tokio Hotel are a German band comprised of teenage boys. Now, I don't know about you but when I think of German music, I think of Wumscut, Rammenstein, and pissed off Nazi kittens. Tokio Hotel are... well, kind of like the Jonas Brothers if they tried to sing about "serious" stuff like personal freedom and whatnot.



If it looks badly dubbed, it's 'cause the video was originally filmed in German. And yes, the lead singer-totally a dude. No really, he's a dude.

I found out about them via itunes who recommended them 'cause it knows how much I love AFI. Turns out Jade Puget remixed Tokio Hotel's Ready, Set, Go! and OMG it's OMG-riffic! It totally reminds me of like late 90's Korean pop (aka "gayo" pronounced gah-yo). Trust me, ain't no guiltier pleasure out there than late 90's gayo- it's pop music at it's best. I can so totally see like H.O.T. or Sechs Kies decked out in some Reynolds Wrap like get up and busting out with some uber beast choreographed dance moves while perfectly lip syncing this song. Awesome!

So yeah, if you like bad ass pop music check out Ready, Set, Go! (AFI/Blaqk Audio remix) on itunes (it's way better than the original version in the video).

The video's okay but as far as teenage rebellion against an oppressive dystopia goes, it's not as good as Silverchair's:



Oh Daniel Johns... what happened to you?

The Slip

I had to wake up "early" today to take a conference call. I realize that I have no right calling 9:15am "early" but considering it's my day to close and I went to bed at 3am... yeah, early. I know I should've went to bed earlier, I'm trying, I really am, but I had to know who got kicked off Viva Hollywood.

So while on the call, I went online and saw that Trent Reznor is making his new album, The Slip, a free download!!!

!!!

Maybe I'm not clear...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An entirely new NIN album with like lyrics and stuff for free (DRM free as well- want a copy? I can do that for you!), that's pretty amazing.


Free is good, I like free. But please, make it available in a physical format so that I can buy it and add it to my collection.

The album is pretty good, definitely not the "goth" NIN of the '90 (he was never goth but... whatever). It's like With Teeth meets Ghost. It's kind of weird to think that this is the same guy who filmed "The Broken". Man, all my rock idols are growing up, maturing... I'm getting old.

I'll Take that $159,100 If You Don't Want It!

While I was at Target today, I decided to pick up some ice cream. I went to the frozen food aisle and saw that they had clearanced all the 1.75 quart Breyers ice cream.

Due to the rising price of milk, inflation, and what not, ice cream makers are shrinking the size of their product. It's a sneaky way of raising the price behind the customer's back. Overall, I have no problem with this practice, businesses have to do what they have to do. I just hope this doesn't fuck up my recipes, a lot of them are like, "One package of XYZ (28 oz)" 'cause 28 oz is standard. Well, what happens if the XYZ maker lowers their packaging to 25oz? Pretty soon, all the other XYZ makers will start to lower it to 25oz to compete. Then what?! I have to buy 2 things of XYZ so that I can use up 3oz from the second packaging? Lame!

So, back to Target- there were a whole bunch of 1.75 quarts of clearanced Breyers right next to the smaller, regular priced, version. The price difference was only 50 cents but I thought that was a stupid decision on Target's part.

Let's say that each of the 1,591 Targets had 200 cartons of the 1.75 quart ice cream in their current inventory (pretty conservative estimation considering Target's a big market store and this is practically summer). 200 x .50 x 1591= 159,100! That's $159,100 dollars that Target lost! Now, considering Target did $64.37 billion dollars in '07, I understand that they're not hurting by losing that $159,100. However, it's money that they didn't have to lose. I understand the idea of clearancing discontinued item but people would have bought the bigger box at the regular price.

Oh well, I got more for less so I'm happy.

Horray! I Didn't Suck!!!

Bad News: We missed plan for the month... no pitiful bonus for April- Boo!

Good News: I did really well keeping to my budget last month. I came under budget in all category except grocery. The best part is that I didn't have to even try.

Better News: I have more money than I thought I did!

I read another article about Warren Buffet and decided to follow his advice and stick my money in some index funds and forget about it. A light bulb just kind of went off in my head and I was all, "Hey! It's not an IRA, or a CD, I can take my money out when ever I want!" I can sell it/take my money out/whatever whenever I want, right? I have to investigate, but I'm pretty sure I can. There's no reason why 100% of my emergency fund has to be 100% liquid. It's not like I'm tying my money up in real estate or something.

Now it's a matter of finding the right index fund. Buffet suggested Vanguard, Kiplinger is always talking about Vanguard, Jamie seems to like Vanguard. I think I'll start with Vanguard.

A Day of Disappointments

It started with food. For lunch, I decided I wanted some seasoned fries so I went to the Cajun Grill. Even though, for once, I was on track to make my food budget for the month, I didn't really feel like "splurging" on mall food. If was going to spend more than $5, it certainly wasn't going to be for sub-par food court crap. I distinctly remembered Cajun Grill offering a kids meal and look- a kids meal menu! Did I get charged the $5 for a kids meal? Of course not! Instead, I ended up paying almost $8!!! Booo!!! To be fair, they did give me a lot of food, and maybe I should've spoken up but I had made it very clear that I wanted the kids meal and yet they gave me the adult version. This probably means the owner has something against letting grow ups buy kids meal.

By the way... why is that? I mean, kids meal costs less 'cause it comes with less food. Why can't I have the option of paying less for less food? I hate places that has an age restriction. There have been several times (at other places) when I order the kids meal and get turned down- I'm too old apparently. That's total BS. I refuse to patronize those places. Fuck you Cajun Grill, you made my shit list.

At work, a customer asked me what I was. I get this a few times a month. "What are you?" How is that not rude? To me, it's the same as asking, "How old are you?" or "How much do you weigh?" I usually refuse to answer and nicely reply with, "Why do you want to know?" It's usually, "I'm curious" or "You look (fill in an Asian ethnicity)". Her answer, "You look Korean. Are you Korean 'cause you look Korean." Oh do I?!?! "Oh, okay," was my answer and I just looked at her with my nice, How-can-I-help-you! customer service face, waiting for her to say something else stupid. She just kind of stood there with a goofy smiley face, probably waiting for me to confirm or deny. After a few second of silence I just kind of walked away. Maybe it was rude but really... I'm tired of it.

The more shit like that happens, the ruder I get. I need to stop, being rude is dumb- even if I feel it's warranted. Recently, I've gotten people walk up to me and greet me in various Asian languages (usually Chinese, Korean, or Japanese- always pronounced horribly). When they do that, I'm all, "Oh, I'm sorry, what was that?" or "Excuse me?" like they were greeting me in Klingon or something. They usually respond with, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you spoke Chinese/Korean/Japanese." My answer- get that really, genuinely, confused look on my face and ask, "Why would would you think that?". That usually shuts them up. I used to be pretty passive, not make eye contact, and ignore them- I mean, if someone was was speaking German around me, I wouldn't assume they were addressing me, right?- but that usually just leads to them speaking their butchered language even more.

Dude, I am all for cross cultural experiences and what not but how is divulging my ethnicity going to help the cause? It's not.

After work I played some Mario Kart for the Wii. I was actually pretty excited to play since I can hold my own at Mario Kart DS (I've become re-obsessed with that game recently). Don't get me wrong, the game looks amazing and I'm sure it's loads of fun but I just couldn't get use to the control. I'm not even talking about the Wii Wheel or whatever, I'm talking about that stupid joy stick like thing on the GC controller. I'm so used the the D-pad that I had a really hard time steering without it. Needless to say, I sucked- a lot, which pissed me off 'cause I hate sucking at video games (which is why I don't play a lot of video games... I'm not very good).

Then we went out to eat at Don Corleone's... ugh! It's late and I should sleep but needless to say, my favorite pizza joint let me down. Boo

Closet!

Voila! My closet (click to enlarge)!I took close up pics of the different areas and I was going to post them along with explanations as to what they are and why it's like that but I decided that's kind of boring and no one really cares.

I remembered that I need to buy an external hard drive (to store my music and lolcat pics) so I don't think I'll spend $200 on closet organization. I'm looking to spend around $100-$150 on an external hard drive so I guess I'll have $100-$50 to spend on my closet. I want to buy some shelves, boxes, and sturdy hooks (for my doors). I should be able to get all that for $100. Doing it for $50 might be bit of a challenge.